New Year, New Me?

It's January 2, 2021 and I already feel kind of lazy, and unproductive. It is literally the second day of the year, and I’m producing content right now. Why is there this ingrained sense of urgency in our mind spaces to doing more? If 2020 has taught me anything it's that there is really no rush in anything that I'm currently doing. I put the pressure on myself. I’ve been contemplating for a while on how to keep my audience engaged when I'm not feeling energetically up for a video or a collective message. Putting pressure on myself to produce content of some degree, to make sure that I’m posting something. I have to practice what I preach so I do my best to rest and reflect when I need to, and step back from connecting with you all until I’m energetically able. Even still with being this intentional, during the times I’m not producing content I still feel like I can be harmful to my own mind space. I tend to think that even when I’m not posting or providing messages I still should be. I make it a point to challenge my negative thoughts, but they still appear and do their worst. I wanted to write poems to post, but had writers block for about 2 months or so.

I felt bad that I was experiencing inconsistency so frequently. I had to be patient with myself and at the time it was a challenge because I felt like I should have been doing more, and couldn't really figure out why I wasn't. I'm an emotionally intelligent and stable person who doesn't fear expression or low periods or being honest about them, but it doesn't make experiencing those periods less challenging. I forget that sometimes, each layer I unlock and personal growth level I ascend to, gives me a new angle to what I’m able to create. A new growth edge I can speak to that someone else may be experiencing too. Extend yourself compassion for having to go through things, there is no other way to learn and the only way out is through. Once you're on the other side you realize how it helped and how it hurt. You use what you learn to be better in whatever way you were meant to. That's what humans do and that's what life is about.

I challenge you to be patient with yourself, even renewal is a process. It's a New Year and there will be a process growing into the new you, know that. As I remind you I’m reminding myself. When I talk to you, I’m really just talking to myself. I am transparent about the things I journey through and vulnerable enough to share because it plants seeds of encouragement, and inspiration in others to do the same in whatever way they need. Planting seeds is all I want to do, the rest is up to you anyway.

Yesterday I wrote myself a letter about everything I want to accomplish this year, I affirmed myself, spoke abundant life over myself and got specific about the intentions I am setting and all I want in motion. On January 1, 2022 I will read my letter from this year and reflect on where I am, at that moment compared to where I intended to go. I’m challenging you to do the same thing. Before the end of this month write yourself a letter and keep it someplace you will remember. Set an alert on your calendar if you need to, in order to read the letter a year from the day you wrote it, and on the day you read it, reflect on who that person was and who you currently are, ask yourself how well you aligned with what you were trying to accomplish. I support the “new you,” “the old you,” the “figuring it out you,” I support you at whatever stage you are at, in hopes to help you grow more and learn to support yourself in the same way. What I give to you is always what I am, or have given to myself. I want us to all have the tools I have, and share the same knowledge. We all, we got so let's grow together.

Now Affirm Yourself !! I’ll start:

I Affirm:

That I, Brittany Elizabeth, an aspiring Integrative Holistic Counselor, Healer, & Human will heal myself in order to heal others. I will challenge and hold myself accountable for being authentic and to the best of my ability, leading by example in vulnerability and truth. I will speak life over myself at all times, even when it feels like it won't help. I challenge all negative thoughts with truth seeking questions and take ownership of the thoughts and feelings that belong to me. I will be intentional in my actions of the smallest and largest degree. I will do my best to know what I am doing and why. I will continue to master myself through my ups and my downs. I choose myself and to have faith in myself every single day. 2021 will prepare me, 2021 will boost me even closer to my ultimate goals. All things in this life happen for me, and my highest good and not to me as punishment.

Ase

This post had no other purpose than to share with you where I am, what I am working on and how I’m working on it. To know that if you're anything like me you're not alone at all! This is what the work looks like, it's personal to you, it's an in-depth relationship with yourself that you work on just as you work on others.

Be True. Be Beautiful. Be Blessed.

Related food for thought:

This year, how will you be intentional with steps towards your goals? Will those steps taken align with what you are trying to accomplish?

Poem that broke my writers block:

Untitled. Dec.26.2020 :

I wanna have deep talks

Unload deep thoughts

Speak freely

Without cost

I want you to see what my mind space looks like

In its chaos

And over stimulation,

It’s a lot but it’s nice

I want to open every tiny secret compartment,

Where my interests on all things lay

Waiting for you to spark them,

Day dream with me

Fantasize

Idolize

All that could be

All that will be

All that is

All you see

In me,

I wanna share every layer of myself with you

The authentic me

The truth

Because not many people get the privilege

To see me in this fashion

& trust me they out there,

They asking

All there is to know about me

And my mysteries

But I only want to unfold for you

Because I enjoy your unfolding too

In the name of vulnerability

Allow yourself to be naked with me

Figuratively,

Peek from behind the wall you’ve built

Lay your eyes on the emotions you blocked from being felt.

I ask nothing of you but to be yourself

Can you do it?

Seeking and reaching yourself

Gives you all you need to reach someone else

I don’t think you trust it yet though

Trust the safety of letting your feelings flow

But I’m here to guide you when you’re ready

Because I want you to see what my mind space looks like

In its chaos

And over stimulation

It can be a lot but it’s nice

-B