Familiar Soul, New Awareness

If you’re reading this, we’ve officially made it to the last month of 2025. What does that mean to me, you might ask?

For me, it’s rooted in the lessons I’ve learned this year, the plans I’m setting for next year, and the awareness that I’m entering a whole new decade of my life.

I started this year in my first serious adult relationship, one I was convinced was going to be my forever. Within five months, that vision was both born and buried. I had to grieve, and if I’m honest, I’m probably still grieving pieces of it even now. But in that grief, I’ve done the work. The kind of uncomfortable, tender, reflective work that forces you to look at yourself, extend grace, and choose growth anyway.

Somewhere along the way, I also started a PhD program. A dream I had whispered about for years. I committed to becoming Dr. Buchannon: a teacher, a counselor, a guide for both the next generation of professionals and the youth of St. Louis.

As a Black woman, I’ve achieved so much in a short time. Yet somehow, the thing that seemed to make my mother most proud was the idea that I might become a wife. Thoughts like that don’t usually sit on the surface. They wait until I start overthinking or doubting myself, then they whisper reminders that, for so long, my value was tied to the potential of being someone’s wife.

This year, I decided to challenge that. I restarted therapy,  and this time, I went far left and placed my trust in a white woman. And if you’re wondering why that matters, it matters a lot. Because it represents a new kind of awareness that’s been seeping into my life all year. Six months ago, I couldn’t have imagined opening my heart and my most vulnerable stories to someone who didn’t share my lived experience. Yet here I am, expanding, healing, unlearning, and learning again.

I never thought my last partner would show up the way they did. I never saw myself as anyone’s victim. But experiences like that change you; they deposit something in you. And that deposit, that awareness, reshapes you from the inside out.

It’s funny how evolution works. Somehow, I’m still the same woman, same humor, same softness, same drive,  but also completely different. That’s the beauty of personal evolution: how life can alter you deeply while allowing you to remain rooted in who you are.

Becoming the Version of You That You’re Meant to Be

As we close this year, I want to leave you with something real, not “new year, new me” energy, but “same me, more aware” energy. Here are a few ways to walk into the next year as the version of yourself you’re meant to be:

1. Reflect, don’t rewrite. You don’t have to become someone new to grow. Reflect on what’s already within you, the parts that need nurturing, not replacing.

2. Release other people’s timelines. Whether it’s marriage, career milestones, or personal growth, there’s no universal clock. Your timing is sacred.

3. Lead with awareness, not autopilot. Start paying attention to what your body, mind, and spirit need. Awareness is where transformation begins.

4. Normalize your healing pace. Grief, growth, and forgiveness, none of them run on a schedule. Honor your process without judgment.

5. Stay grounded in your values. The world will always try to define your worth for you. Don’t let it. Define yourself from the inside out.

6. Be curious with yourself. Ask more questions than you answer. Growth isn’t about certainty; it’s about staying open.

As I step into this next chapter, this next decade, I’m not chasing reinvention. I’m embracing alignment. Same me. More awareness. More understanding. More peace.

If anything resonated with you or you connected with anything, leave me a comment, like, or connect with me and share a piece of your story!

Until next month, be well, be gentle, and be simply you.